The Value Of All The People You'll Never Meet Again

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I woke up this morning with a huge cramp in my left wrist. You know how it feels when it seems like a part of your body has jammed up, and to twist and turn hurts? That is exactly what happened. I must have slept wrongly, or tucked my hand under my chin.

I am what can be termed a ‘night reminiscer’. There is no such term, and I just invented it. *Insert grin. Therefore, I probably ‘thought’ myself to sleep and forgot to untuck my wrist, and in consequence, the cramp. What to do? I flexed my fingers, found out they still work. And then I began to catch my fingers. And voila, cramp gone!

Okay, so far this entire narration has been a bit strange. *Grins again. ‘Catching your fingers' is a small but useful form of exercise taught to corpers at the National Youth Corps (NYSC) Orientation camp I attended. This particular exercise stands out in my memory for a few reasons: 1) It was introduced to us by the RSM, a senior military officer with a distended belly and a grumpy, yet fatherly way about him. The RSM was one of those indelible people, whose images and actions grow on you, until you find that you're positively fond of them.

The RSM's favorite mode of communication was in sharp barks and jives. Randomly selected girls were called witches for daring to stand crooked as girls are wont to do, jutting out their hips on the parade ground. As for boys, they had to be quick enough to dodge a hit from his stick.

2) Catching your fingers was done really early in the morning. In fact, we were out of the hostels by 4:30 am and off the parade grounds by around 6:30 am. Let me add that those are abnormal, ungodly hours at which I am either just going to bed, or waking up to drink water and do number 1.

The usefulness of that little piece of exercise garnered in —what was for me— barely tolerable conditions, saved my wrist today. While I definitely know that I am being slightly melodramatic, the fact is, I am becoming more aware of the importance of transient people in our lives.

The word transient, is one I have always been fascinated with. Words carry different flavors and textures for me, and even without it's meaning, ‘transient’ simply glides off your tongue, with this melancholy, yet oddly beautiful flow. Transient means temporary, not lasting long. A phrase from the Merriam-webster dictionary sums it up best. “A: passing especially quickly into and out of existence”.

When it comes to humanity, there are people we meet, knowing we might never see them again after a very casual conversation, consisting of a few words. Random strangers we ask for directions, RSMs who drill discipline into your unwilling self for three weeks, security guards when you go for an interview... The list goes on. These people usually do not last long, but have you ever stopped to think about their impact? Let's imagine a day without actively participating transient people. Open your mind, use your imagination.

Picture this:

You wake up in the morning, greet the permanent persons in your life, both online and physically.

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Then you dress up and step out. Today, you're visiting somewhere you've never been to before. We do it all the time, mostly in the quest for jobs and opportunities to better our lives. You are driving, and you need directions somewhere. Unfortunately, today the usual Okada and Keke drivers are refusing to acknowledge you, and as a consequence, you have to navigate on your own. Sure, you could use Google maps, but this is Nigeria, and that is all there is to say about that.

Or, let's assume you're taking public transport. Your fellow passengers do not respond to your greetings (assuming you're the ‘polite exchange’ type).

The driver ignores your appeal for further directions. Nigeria seldom has straightforward addresses, even in the mostly well planned city of Abuja. I dare you to get to a place described as “cross to your left, enter the next junction, under the tall mango tree, behind one NEPA pole like that, opposite where they are selling fish” all by yourself.

In scenarios like that, the instinctive action is to stop someone and say, “excuse me, good afternoon, abeg, do you know so-so-so and so...”. Those are transient people. Are you picking up the message now? Let's continue to assume that you have had a hectic time getting to the place you were headed for. At the entrance, the security guards are either staring blankly at you, or simply refusing to acknowledge your existence. This actually happens more than is necessary. Due to their uncooperative attitude, you don't know whether to climb up the stairs, or walk around in circles until a magic door appears. (That's a Harry Potter reference 😁, not sorry).

The janitor is sweeping, and does not respond to your greetings. He doesn't point you to the particular office you need, either, and you have to poke your head into different offices, hoping that the occupants are friendly. That's often a risky endeavor, and can be a key reason why your entire day simply sucks. Older Nigerians can be cranky, and survive on a diet of respect and genuflections. If your greeting is too westernized, expect a lecture from about three cranky middle aged persons— talking at once, of course— about your lack of manners, as if your parents aren't enough!

All this suffering since morning, because some unknown people woke up on the wrong side of bed and refused to answer you!

John Donne's “No man is an island” quote, from his iconic poem, “MEDITATION XVII Devotions upon Emergent Occasions” comes to mind. No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

You and I, are someone's transient people. The world is truly a circle, and cliched as it sounds, we all need each other. Think of it as a complex ecosystem, feeding off the presence of other organisms, yet giving back parts of itself to be fed on, and used to continue the cycle of life.

Transient people matter. Greet properly. Take time to remember the people you meet. Imagine stories about them. Give them a life inside your head, and remember the tiny bits of usefulness gleaned from them. End!