How to balance discipline...with love

---

I am a teacher, specializing in nursery classes, and recently teaching junior secondary school students. I dare say I am one of the more popular teachers, and every day I get to wipe snotty noses, hear secrets(seriously, parents. Anything you don't want the world to know about, whisper it!) and soothe wounded egos.

Like many people, I sometimes wonder if there might be some extra quality that I have, that makes me irresistible to children. I'm not always the nicest, but I am never the meanest. The trick I have discovered, is balance. Many religions and cultural beliefs will yell the errors of being lukewarm at you. They might be right, but in teaching, the philosophy of not too hot, not too cold, a little off the center is the perfect solution. Children naturally need authority. Yes, I know there are several people who believe that children can naturally express themselves...and I agree. Where I fall out with the “let children be themselves” school of thought though, is when you place too much control into their hands. Even as adults, we often require the advice and guidance of others. How much more a child that has literally no experiences. If you have been around babies, you'll notice that they will absolutely fight off sleep, until you initiate it by petting them. This principle guides me in my dealings with children. I am soft, yielding and ready to listen. I never let it get to the point where all that love is taken for granted, because discipline is important. I have always been involved in the Education sector one way or another, as both parents are teachers. We have almost always run a school, and some of my earliest memories include hearing dozens of voices chorus, “La for light house! Hah for house! Buh for bat and ball...” Thus, I have drawn these lessons on handling children not just from my parents, but from certain teachers who I will never forget, as they are forever in my heart. I had a hard time adjusting to school as a very small child. I was constantly scared, crying, and refusing to write. I was used to the attention from home: carried when I was tired, fed immediately I was hungry, and generally fussed over. My first experience with a tough and sweet teacher, was in Kindergarten 1. I was new and I hated the strange environment. Everywhere smelled different, and I wanted no part of it. I didn't cooperate, and I absolutely refused to write. My teacher got permission from my mom to handle me, and that she did. She would isolate me when I refused to cooperate, and praise me when I did. She made it clear that she loved me, but would not tolerate anything other than excellence. I became eager to please, and I wound up class assistant. The lightskinned child with the pudgy wrists who would not grip a pencil, became the one urging other children to learn faster. That is how effective love AND discipline is. My Nursery two teacher was my refuge in another strange environment. I've always been a very familiar-environment person, yet I changed schools a lot. My parents had a school as I mentioned earlier, but they felt I needed competition so they sent my sister and I to this big school where my dad was vice principal. But he was in the secondary section, which was far apart from the primary. Every day I used to cry and cry. To make matters worse, I was very short sighted(still am), and I was scared of everything. This woman noticed, and started working on me specially. She gave me big hugs, put me in the front seat so I could squint at the board. I always got first position because I felt safe enough to work and shine. I adored her. I only endured walking down all those large corridors with big children brushing around me and everything looking dim and dark because I knew my class was just around the corner and she was waiting for me. In return, I made her little gifts every single day. Paper cards, candle wax sculptures (I was quite good at that as a child), small small sweets, even barbie dolls. Then I noticed she seemed down sometimes, and I asked her why. She told me her husband, who was quite elderly then, was sick. So I prayed for him everyday, wrote him cards... Then my parents pulled my sister and I out of the school again and I missed her sorely. Another balanced teacher that stands out in my head, was my Senior Secondary School English teacher. By the time I was in senior secondary, I was established already as the best English student. My writing and debating skills were superb. I didn't shine at social things, I was never popular for anything aside from having a large brain and a unique voice. Those are enough for popularity though, because all my teachers loved me, asides from my mathematics teachers, who loathed me😁. My English teacher in SS1 was being transferred, and so she personally handed me over to the new woman taking her place. I was in awe of her immediately. Slim, pretty, ageing and really strict. She saw my potential at once, and she pushed me into everything academic. I got library time when nobody else was allowed to step foot into the library. It was a public school and my class alone was above 100 students. She took me to many academic competitions, and introduced me as her star pupil. I won several competitions because of her exposure. She met my daddy, who was also a superior English teacher, and both of them coached me to become one of the winners of an international competition. She was so good to me. They all were. I may not remember the names or even faces of these heroic women, but I will never forget their impact. They shaped me; loved me and disciplined me. They did not allow laziness get the better of me, neither did they ridicule my young, impressionable mind. They did not allow anxiety overwhelm the creative part of me, and taught me in return, to express feelings of love unreservedly. These amazing women who taught me balance are the reason I am writing today, because they recognized my potential, and pushed me towards it. They refused to let my creativity hide, and gave me room to blossom. There was love, and there was discipline. It was not too hot, nor was it too cold, but it was just right. They were never firmly on the left, or fixedly right, but not too far from the center. Balance, teachers. Balance!